


Bang Bang

by Kalikuks



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, More Tags to add as it goes, Past Jesse McCree/Reaper | Gabriel Reyes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7517810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalikuks/pseuds/Kalikuks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse McCree is the king of getting himself into sticky situations. He's also the king of getting out of them. This time though he might not succeed in weaseling his way out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Awful Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god here we go.

“Ya seem ill at ease Darlin’.” 

Hanzo could only turn to gaze back at McCree, frozen midstep in his movement to follow his brother as Genji scouted ahead through the seemingly long abandoned buildings. McCree had caught him just as he was about to scale the side of the nearest one to take to the rooftops, the metallic fingers of McCree’s prosthetic twining easily with Hanzo’s own now that the cowboy had his attention. 

“…I am just concerned.” Hanzo answered truthfully. “You would think that a gang operating here would have already sent their thugs after us the first sign they had of our presence. Being met with silence like this, it is a little disconcerting.” 

McCree only shrugged, the smile on his face meant to reassure more than anything else. “Maybe they’re just dumb and yer overthinkin' things.”

“They have a direct involvement with Talon. I would rather overthink all possible outcomes than have this go poorly for us.” 

McCree nodded, his fingers tightening their hold on Hanzo’s briefly in a comforting squeeze. “Whatever they drop on us, we’ll pull through. We’ve been ’n worser scrapes than this.” 

Hanzo said nothing and reluctantly pulled his hand from McCree’s to turn towards the wall again. He scaled the flat surface with ease, feeling McCree’s eyes on him the entire way. He would have darted from sight if McCree’s voice hadn’t sounded in his ear through a private comm line. 

“Now… if ya happen ta be worrin’ over little ol’ me Darlin’, I want ya to know that it’ll be a cold day in hell before I leave you and this green earth behind.”

It was enough to stall Hanzo from continuing, to peer over the side of the building to see McCree grin up at him and blow him a kiss, the cowboy murmuring “for good luck” through their comm line before switching over to the team’s channel. He watched McCree slink through the shadows to catch up with the rest of the team, before he himself melted into the cover the darkness provided to catch up to Genji. The two of them travelled the rooftops together before going separate ways to cover more ground. 

Soon a well-placed sonic arrow had heralded the location of the gang they had been trying to find. However, it also revealed a much bigger problem. They had expected a gang of twenty strong. The sonic arrow had revealed not even ten, which meant the other members were either not present, had already moved their operations, or were lying in wait. Hanzo placed his bet on the latter. 

Before he could even open his mouth to inform the team of the possible ambush, another flicker of movement caught his eye nearby his arrow’s resting place. A thin, lithe feminine frame with a long ponytail swaying behind it positioned itself near a second story window. A sniper.

_Widowmaker._

He swore, the comm immediately crackling to life in his ear in response.

“Got somethin’, Darlin’?” McCree’s voice immediately sounded in his ear, overtop Soldier 76’s demand of “Report”.

“Yes. I have located their base. However, there are… complications.” Hanzo’s feet barely made a sound on the rooftops as he slowly doubled back, sticking to the shadows especially now that he was wary of Widowmaker’s presence. 

“Well, that sure as hell sounds bad when ya say it like that, Sugar.” Underneath McCree, he could make out Soldier 76 sigh at being spoken over again. 

“Because it is. I suspect an ambush.” Hanzo darted behind a squat brick chimney. “Even worse yet, I believe Talon is here.” 

Soldier 76 managed to beat McCree to the punch this time. “You are certain of this? How do you know?” 

“Sniper, second story window of the dark brick building, three windows from the right side. I recognized her. If Widowmaker is here, more Talon operatives cannot be far behind.” 

Tracer was the one to speak over Soldier this time, her loud, cheery voice making Hanzo flinch, “ _She’s_ ‘ere?! I’ve been meaning ta ‘ave another go at ‘er.” 

Hanzo decided not to join in the sudden and cacophonous protest literally every single member of their current team made in response. It made his ears hurt. 

It was also at that moment, with Hanzo hunched behind the chimney, that a strong wind suddenly picked up. The sudden gust lifting the ends of the long ribbon he used to tie his hair back, causing them to briefly flicker like a flag out in the open.

It was enough.

A sudden gunshot rang through the night. Hanzo heard the bullet whiz past him, cursing as he grabbed at his ribbon. The end of it now had a hole torn through it. He’d hate to admit it, but Widowmaker was a good shot.

“You alright, Darlin’?!” 

Concern was evident in McCree’s voice, and Hanzo could make out the sounds of his boots on cobbled streets, the spurs clinking as he ran, more likely in Hanzo’s direction. He was always reckless when worried.

“I am fine, but I have been spotted.” Hanzo bunkered down against the chimney, pressing his back against the rough brick, “Widowmaker will be watching for any flicker of movement now. Genji, be careful. The same goes for you, Koishii.”

“N’aw, ya know ‘careful’ is my middle name, Pumpkin.” he could practically hear the grin on McCree’s face. 

Genji’s voice came over the comm then, taking on a mocking scathing tone, “Pet names while on a mission? You two are shameless.” 

The last part of Genji’s statement was drowned out by an uproar suddenly taking over the streets as gunfire suddenly exploded from alleyways, the uncounted for gang members making their appearance. Even worse, their numbers were bolstered just as Hanzo had feared; Talon agents joined the fray from their own hidden shadows not seconds after the gang had popped out of hiding. They didn’t have the element of surprise as they had hoped, due to Hanzo’s warning, but both sides had had their cover blown by Widowmaker’s shot. 

Hanzo pulled an arrow from his quiver and nocked his bow, fixing his gaze on what he could see of the street below him, expertly picking off a Talon agent. 

The comm in his ear crackled to life, Soldier: 76 barking out orders, “Reinhardt and Pharah! Keep Mercy company and stick close to her! Tracer and D.Va, you’re with Lucio! See if you can do anything about that sniper! Hanzo, cover Genji and McCree!”

“I’ll draw that sniper fire so you can get movin’, Hanzo!” came Tracer’s cheery voice, “She couldn’t hit me if she tried, so no worries.”

Hanzo waited, moving from his hiding spot as soon as sniper fire rang out once more, smacking a Talon agent in the face with his bow as he descended to the street below. He immediately pulled another arrow from his quiver, bouncing a scatter arrow off the side of a building and into a pair of gang members who made the mistake of rounding the corner to come after him. He pulled another arrow when he heard footfalls sound behind him, turning in time to see another gang member running at him. Before he drew his bow they are dead, the familiar noise of McCree’s Peacekeeper echoed off the walls of the alley as the body fell to the cobblestone. 

“Miss me Darlin’?” McCree offered an easy smile to Hanzo before he turned and fired down the alley, a round from his revolver finding a home between the eyes of some poor fool who thought himself sneaky.

Hanzo’s only answer is to quirk his lip in return and loose his arrow through the throat of another Talon agent. Hanzo stepped aside for McCree to push past him to continue through the labyrinthine streets, but Not before the cowboy pressed a kiss to Hanzo’s cheek. The rough stubble of McCree’s beard caught Hanzo’s own, and the archer shoved at him playfully.

“Ridiculous man.” Hanzo said fondly as he batted McCree away, his eyes catching the cowboy’s gaze.

McCree’s eyes were lively and glittering in mischief, the cowboy’s grin now with a feral lilt to it that always seemed to find its way in during combat. A gunshot just ahead of them broke their moment, both of them kicking back into high gear. McCree moved ahead, with Hanzo not far behind to cover him. Soon Genji joined them both, making his presence known by kicking a Talon agent out of a window. All three of them soon fell into the rhythm of combat, making their way towards the objective.

Hanzo and Genji soon separated from McCree, but not straying so far that he was out of sight. Together Hanzo and his brother picked off stragglers from Talon, clearing the alleys of reinforcements lurking not three streets away. Genji darted forwards, a bright streak of green against the dreary alley walls, stirring up the enemy as Hanzo picked them off effortlessly from far back with his bow. Any that managed to escape the brothers’ notice were gunned down by McCree on the other side of the buildings.  

Hanzo longed for the advantage of the rooftops, but Widowmaker’s presence made that far too dangerous of a gamble. Her rifle could fire farther than his bow, and he would be dead by the time she was in range of his weapon. McCree would tell him that he was “sulking” if Hanzo ever made the mistake of voicing his displeasure about this situation. 

He watched Genji dart into an alcove further ahead as he stepped over one of the fallen Talon agents, but a sudden crackle underneath him made his step falter slightly. An urgent repetition of “Team C report. Team C report”.

A smooth, silky french accent followed. “You will not reach them or Team E. My reconnaissance tells me the Shimadas and the cowboy have taken them out. They are clearing the alleys to the west. If we want to actually _succeed_ here,” the silk in the spider’s tone hardened to absolute venom, “I suggest taking them out in return.”

Hanzo was too busy informing Genji and McCree to expect heavy retaliation that he missed the reply of “I’m already there” and the sentient plume of smoke that slithered into the mouth of the alley. Hanzo’s only warning that Reaper was upon him was Genji’s startled cry of “Hanzo!” as he came back around a corner. He whipped around in time to see the wraith materialize and scrambled back to put distance between them.

“Oh good, you’re both here. Two birds with one stone. Or should I say dragons?” Reaper’s mask betrayed nothing, but Hanzo swore there was an edge of delight hidden under the gravel of his voice. 

His bow was drawn before Reaper even drew his shotguns, loosing an arrow right into his chest. His arrow struck true, and would have surely punctured a lung, if Reaper was human. Reaper didn’t even flinch, and the only sound that signified he had felt anything was the wheezy, pained chuckle he made as he pulled it out, smoke coalescing around the wound. 

“How cute,” was all Reaper said before he finally drew his shotguns. 

Genji was moving before Hanzo could react, pushing him aside to reflect the shotgun blast back. Genji forgot Reaper would not be deterred if he was hit by his own shot. 

Genji didn’t have time to deflect the second blast.

Genji’s cry of pain echoed both through his comm and the alley. On the other side of the buildings, McCree broke into a sprint, gunning down a few more Talon agents as he made his way to Genji and Hanzo’s side. The sight that greeted him when he finally peered around the corner made his heart leap into his chest. Hanzo, defending a wounded Genji, trying his best to keep his brother up and himself armed while Reaper advanced slowly on them. Reaper was toying with them. McCree ground his teeth together. He needed to think fast and somehow give the Shimadas an opportunity to run. 

There was nothing in the alley and Reaper was far too close to both of the Shimadas to stun Reaper with a flashbang. McCree would need to get the wraith away from the brothers. How was an entirely different story. McCree knew he’d ran out of time to think when he heard a low throaty chuckle, a sound way too familiar for comfort that seized his heart, and he watched resignation cross Hanzo’s face when a shotgun was raised and aimed at him. 

Jesse McCree rounded the corner. “Gabriel!” 

The snarl of his real name stopped Reaper in his tracks, and earned McCree a painfully slow turn towards him, the mask betraying nothing even as the head that wore it tilted to the side in mock curiosity. 

“Jesse. Long time no see.” Reaper’s head inclined towards McCree’s robotic arm, and McCree worked to tramp down the chill that went up his spine along with the phantom feeling of claws tearing at what was no longer flesh. “How nice of you to drop in.”

“I wish I could say the same for ya Gabe, but our last reunion wasn't exactly sunshine an’ rainbows.” McCree briefly met Hanzo’s confused gaze, relief flooding through him when the archer was indeed taking the opportunity to sneak away with Genji. 

“Aw, were you disappointed last time, Jesse?” the tone Reaper took was a mockery of affection from the past, and McCree’s knuckles went white around the handle of Peacekeeper, trigger finger starting to itch. “I’m afraid I will have to postpone our rendezvous, mi corazón. I have Dragons to put down.” 

“Like fuck ya are.” McCree growled.

Reaper laughed and turned his attention back to the Shimada brothers, but the wraith’s trigger finger wasn't as fast as McCree’s. A shot rang out between them, and Reaper was left staring at what remained of his smoking fingers.“…Fine.” Reaper turned back to where McCree had ducked behind a corner, fingers slowly reforming into his claws, “You always liked being the centre of my attention anyways. If you want to die first, then who am I to deny you?” 

“That’s real big talk from a man that didn’t even manage ta kill me the first time we tussled.” McCree flexed the fingers of his prosthetic for emphasis, pulling it back into cover when a shotgun blast narrowly took his hand off. Again. 

Reaper replied with a growl. “You will not get away this time.” 

Reaper was advancing on him now, and McCree moved back along the alley wall, ducking around another corner, trying not to give Reaper the satisfaction of a reaction when another blast took his hat off. Genji and Hanzo weren’t in the clear just yet, after all. All he had to do was keep Reaper’s attention. Easy peasy.

“That’s exactly what ya said last time we went mono e mono.” McCree clicked his tongue as he called back to the advancing shadow, “Yer gettin’ sloppy Gabe. Or was it because part o’ ya was still sweet on me?” 

“You just got lucky, you damn ingrate.” Reaper’s voice was more of a snarl than usual; clearly McCree’d hit a nerve.

“Ingrate? Gabe, ya had better insults for me back in the Blackwatch days.” McCree couldn’t help the bitterness that suddenly made itself known on his tongue, “You miss me that much ta not insult me proper and even call me your corazón, but not enough to, y’know, not kill me. Didn’t think ya took the breakup that bad.” 

He heard Hanzo’s voice travel urgently through the comm a second later, calling for backup and a medic. Good. McCree let relief flow through him, knowing that they were safe for now at the very least. 

Now he’d just have to lose Reaper or fight him off.

McCree hazarded a quick glance around the corner, Peacekeeper’s muzzle also peeking past the wall as he glanced around for his assailant. McCree furrowed his brows in confusion when the wraith known as Reaper was nowhere to be found. Suddenly there were claws deep in his calves, tearing far too easily through leather and denim. A cry of pain tore from McCree’s throat as he was dragged down to the cobblestone by those claws.

“You always talked too much.” Reaper chided as he loomed overhead, rising from a puddle of shadow. 

“Heh heh. Really? Some say its part o’ my charm.” 

Peacekeeper tore a good hole through Reaper’s shoulder, causing him to hiss and smoke to pour from the wound, though it did not deter him from advancing on the cowboy as he dragged himself away little by little. He wasn’t even bothering to point his shotguns at McCree, seemingly content to leave them at his sides and watch McCree struggle. 

It was McCree’s turn to hiss as he tried to pull himself to his feet, the five bloody lines on each of his legs burning with the strain. Behind him, Reaper only laughed as McCree’s feet buckled under him. 

“Look at you, limping away like a kicked mutt.” Reaper taunted. 

McCree didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply or allow him to witness the despair that crept over him suddenly. He tramped it down. No. He’d get out of this. He always found a way somehow. Hanzo would kill him if he didn’t. Thinking of Hanzo gave McCree the strength to stagger to his feet, and the sudden remembrance of his flashbangs hanging off his belt. That could work. It had to.

Metallic fingers reached for one of them, hooking it off his belt as sneakily as possible. Gabriel Reyes had trained him in their Blackwatch days together, sure, but he surely didn’t know everything McCree had hidden under his serape and up his sleeves. It was how he’d survived Reaper’s first attack. It would be how he would survive this one, of that he was sure. 

So when he whipped around to lob the flashbang at Reaper, he never expected it to be shot in midair between them.

Suddenly everything was too bright and a blur of vague shapes, and McCree found himself staggering back, hands over his ears as if that would end the ringing. He barely registered an outraged hiss as he tried to locate his suddenly absent revolver, when he was grabbed suddenly and whipped around to be slammed into a wall. The breath he tried to regain when it was forced from his lungs was denied to him again by claws around his throat. 

“Nice try, Jesse.” The claws twitched to close tighter around his throat, “But maybe if you spent less time talking during training all those years ago, you would have known better than to try such simple tricks on me.” 

“Heh…Almost worked.” McCree rasped, kicking out at Reaper’s legs, who only laughed at his attempts.

McCree gritted his teeth and struggled against Reaper’s hold, feeling more than seeing the grin he knew was forming under that mask. Well, if he was going down, he might as well get some things off of his chest. 

“‘Sides, yer one ta talk Gabe. Fuckin’ day in and day out nothin’ but ‘Woe is me, Jack’s a prick, I’m gonna run everything to the ground and become some terrorist group’s bitch after I come back from the—’!”

That earned him a growl of rage and Reaper yanked McCree forwards before he was smashed against the wall once again, and he would have laughed in Reaper’s face if a recognizable click made him swallow up the nervous giggle. 

“You know Jesse.” Reaper started, turning Peacekeeper this way and that in his hold before pressing the barrel to McCree’s forehead right between his eyebrows. McCree could feel the gun quivering with Reaper’s barely concealed rage. “You really need to learn to hold your tongue.”

Jesse only squeezed his eyes shut. The last thing to cross his mind was how pissed Hanzo was going to be at him.

**_BANG._ **


	2. I shot you down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reaper takes some time to savour the moment

Reaper would never have considered himself an artist. That was before the blast of red that that now decorated the wall behind the head of one Jesse McCree. Peacekeeper was tossed to the side as McCree began to fall. Reaper let McCree slump forward into him, rummaged through McCree’s pockets as he set him down to sit against the brick wall. He lit one of McCree’s cigarillos after locating them and the lighter, lifting his mask to take a drag.

He’d been the one to introduce Jesse to these godawful things. They were cheap and easy to get to take the edge off of the missions that left them shaken back in Blackwatch. Reaper hadn’t had one in years. It seemed redundant to smoke when he himself was smoke and ash and decay. Smoking one now seemed the best way to honor one of the most stubborn kills Reaper had ever achieved. 

“You know, _mi corazón_ , you should have just given up the first time I came for you.” Reaper drawled out, his voice nostalgic under the strange distortion, “I wouldn’t have had to destroy your pretty face tonight.” 

The next drag of the cigarillo was blown into McCree’s unresponsive face, and Reaper grinned when he could hear the frantic voices of McCree’s teammates calling for him through the comm. Reaper chose to ignore his own comm when it crackled, informing the Talon operatives to retreat. The night had been a success for him, and he couldn’t give a damn about anything else at the moment. 

“You were meant to be the first.” Reaper continued, reaching to stroke McCree’s beard, the coarse hair matted with blood from where it dripped down from the bullet wound. It smeared Reaper’s claws with red. “But no, you had to slip away from me. You made a habit of that I guess, huh? Leaving me like you did back in Blackwatch, not even a goodbye. Not this time, though.”

Reaper lifted his mask completely from his face and closed the distance between himself and McCree, pressing a soft kiss to his bloodied lips. The farewell that should have been. 

“Now that’s how you say goodbye, you sonofabitc—“ 

**_THWACK_ **

Reaper was struck hard across the back of his head with something, the white mask now clattering onto the cobblestone. He dematerialized and rematerialized a good ten feet away, turning and hissing at his assailant. It was the elder Shimada brother, smoke wafting from his bow to return to Reaper from where the asshole had struck him hard with it. He wanted to stare the Shimada Prince down, only to find Hanzo’s gaze was not even on him. A slow, cruel smile spread across Reaper’s face as he watched the normally stoic archer stare in disbelief at what was left of Jesse McCree. 

It was like watching the best show of Reaper’s life, watching the emotions as they flickered through those dark eyes. Disbelief. Realization. Horror. Agony. Heartbreak followed and Reaper curled his lips in a snarl in response, jealousy burning low within himself. Rage was next on the Shimada’s face. A rage that was fixed solely on Reaper. 

Though he did notice that under the burning rage of the Shimada prince there was hesitation and repulsion. Even in his near feral rage, he was appalled by Reaper’s face. Good. He could not revel in it like he would have hoped since that bow was raised in his direction, the eyes of the archer wild with anger and heartbreak. 

“Agent McCree is de— is down. I am engaging Reaper.” Hanzo’s voice was a low growl, but the brief catch in his voice made Reaper’s grin widen. The arrow loosed in Reaper’s direction a second later passed through him, and the wraith couldn’t help the insane giggle that rose in response. Who in their right fucking mind brought a _bow_ to a gunfight?

Though it was clear on the elder Shimada’s face that he was not in his right mind. Reaper supposed heartbreak did that to you. Reaper also supposed maybe he’d forgo his hellfire shotguns, he had a feeling that it would be far more satisfying to wrap his claws around that neck and reunite Jesse and Hanzo. Reaper wanted to watch the life leave his eyes. To watch Hanzo come to the realization he would die. That he could not avenge Jesse. 

It would probably be the second most beautiful thing Reaper would see tonight.

Murder on his mind, Reaper advanced on the archer. The anger that boiled in those dark eyes was absolutely delicious. Such fury and hatred. The wraith laughed as that bow was drawn back again and a snarl marred that otherwise handsome face. It would look far better twisted in fear. 

The archer loosed the arrow with a roar when Reaper stepped towards him. Only, it wasn’t the elder Shimada that had roared, Reaper realized too late, but Dragons. Two, honest to god, fucking _dragons._ And good lord, they hadn’t reached him yet but they _burned_. Reaper had thought he’d known fire, had known hell and agony when the Swiss base had blown sky high, had known hell and agony when he awoke as a creature of ash and death. No, _this was hell._ Hell was the twin forms of two great serpents, snarling and snapping at his heels when he turned around to flee from them. Hell was when he tried to smoke away, only to have felt their teeth sink into his form. Hell was being ripped apart. Hell was barely managing to escape the maw of two very furious beasts, shattered to pieces and slinking away as separate wisps of smoke. Hell was trying to reform afterward when the dragons had faded in a burst of glittering dust. Hanzo fucking Shimada turned his nose up in Reaper’s direction as he fled, the superiority in Hanzo’s expression hiding the pain of losing Jesse McCree. 

Hanzo Shimada had just moved himself up high on Reaper’s kill list with the summoning of those goddamn dragons. He didn’t get the chance to turn and go back for Hanzo, with the telltale clinking of Reinhardt’s armour and that ridiculous glow of Dr. Ziegler’s wings as they passed by. Part of him wished he could stick around to hear their horrified gasps when they came upon Jesse if he weren’t quite literally ripped to shreds and retreating the way he came. 

Reaper didn’t get to relish in how Hanzo curled around Jesse’s crumpled form. He didn’t get to see how Hanzo sobbed brokenly and pressed the palm of Jesse’s flesh hand to his lips. Reaper didn’t get to watch the shock cross Hanzo’s face either, as he felt the faintest stutter of Jesse’s pulse. How Hanzo called for Angela Ziegler to _save him, please._ How Hanzo stepped aside so Angela could work, and how he couldn't help the nervous laugh to bubble up because of course Jesse would even be stubborn about dying. 

Reaper remained perfectly oblivious to the fact Jesse McCree still stubbornly clung to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short but it kicked my ass. But I've also never written Reaper before so...  
> If I had tried to make the chapter longer it would have lost its impact I think.
> 
> EDIT: The Kiss Scene might have been a little inspired by one in [Sleeper](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7536766/chapters/17134915) (Please go read it. Right now. Do it).


	3. He didn't even say goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is un beta'd. Please point out my mistakes if you find them.

The night they’d brought Jesse home from that mission had been one of the hardest nights since Overwatch had been reformed. Lena had scoured the alleys for Jesse’s hat until she had found it, had clung to it in the waiting room of the medbay as Angela worked on their fallen teammate. Hana had salvaged the serape, and had spent those long hours cleaning it up, getting it as dry as possible and cuddling in silence underneath it. Peacekeeper had been grimly retrieved by Soldier: 76, who’d cleaned the weapon and shoved it in a box. He’d then given the box to Hanzo, who had handed it off to Genji, who then disappeared to hide it away before returning to the waiting room.

Hanzo had been silent the entire time, had also been the last one to leave the waiting room after Lucio informed them that it would be a while yet while Angela worked tirelessly. It was a miracle in of itself that Jesse had managed to get this far, and the good doctor was currently in call with one of the best neurosurgeons she knew. The hard part was waiting on the news. Waiting for the confirmation that Jesse would survive the night.

Needless to say, Hanzo was a mess.

He couldn’t bring himself to return to his and Jesse’s room, nor did he wish to see anyone. If Hanzo allowed even one person to express concern over how he was doing, it would crumble his resolve in seconds. That was the last thing he desired at the moment. The only thing he actually desired was some time alone to process. Hanzo found that desired solitude on the cliffs near the Watchpoint, picked a perch that overlooked the sea and had been a spot he and Jesse snuck off to frequently simply to speak and be with each other. It had been the spot Jesse had confessed his attraction to Hanzo, where their relationship had begun.

With his lover hidden away inside the base in the cliffs, fighting for his life in the medbay, this place felt like the closest Hanzo could get to Jesse at the moment. 

Hanzo watched the stars, meditated for a while before he finally allowed himself to express his grief, burying his face in his hands. Hanzo curled in on himself, biting his own lip to muffle the first sob of many. Hanzo hated this. He hated feeling helpless, hated that what very well might have been the last moment he and Jesse had together was across an alley that might as well have been an ocean. Hanzo had always known, had anticipated that at any moment, he could lose Jesse and Jesse could lose him. 

He just wished it hadn’t been so  _ soon _ . 

The sound of footsteps alerted him to the approach of Hana, and he hastily wiped the evidence of his tears away before he regarded her warily. She only offered him a grim smile, and stepped forward to place the serape in his arms.

“Rein’ said I was being unfair.” Hana said softly, looking ashamed, “Out of all of us, you need it the most tonight.” She turned shiny, wide eyes up to him a moment later, “…You think… I mean, he’s going to make it. I have a good feeling. You can return it to McCree when he’s better!”

“I will.” Hanzo offered her a small, sad smile in return, “He’ll be happy to have it back.”

Hana nodded, rocked on the balls of her feet awkwardly before she cast him another gentle look, “Hey, you know you can talk to me about this, yeah? I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I mean, we all like having McCree around but… you… and him…”

“I’ll keep your offer in mind, Hana. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone.”

His younger teammate nodded solemnly, giving a small wave before she retreated back the way she had come. The horizon was already beginning to lighten with the approach of dawn, and Hanzo wrapped himself up in the serape, holding it tight around him. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend Jesse was right there with him, arms slung around him and chin resting on top of Hanzo’s head. 

_ “What ya cryin’ over me for?”  _ Hanzo could practically hear his gunslinger say, feel the phantom touch of Jesse’s fingers tracing the tear tracks on his cheeks, _ “I ain’t left ya yet, Darlin’. I promised, didn’t I?” _

_ “You did.”  _ Hanzo wanted to reply to the spectre of this lover.

_ “But I’m scared that it’s a promise you cannot keep.” _

Hanzo lost sense of time after that, the only thing to wake him from his reverie was the approach of his brother. Genji sat himself next to Hanzo, his visor and helm absent to reveal his scarred features and the remaining shock of his green hair. Before, when Hanzo had first come to the watchpoint, Genji approaching him at all would have made him turn heel and flee. But he’d since grown passed that, the rift between the two of them mending slowly over the time they spent becoming brothers again. Besides, if Genji had sought him out so purposefully, it likely meant Angela had come out of the medbay and had spoken with the others. He turned expectantly to his younger brother, trying to tramp down his fears.

“Is there news?” It was a small miracle Hanzo’s voice did not waver, but it did nothing to help when his heart thudded in his chest when Genji nodded. 

Genji looked towards where the sun was peeking over the horizon, golden rays shimmering over the sea before he faced his brother and smiled sadly but gently, “Jesse is stable, for the moment.”

Hanzo’s sigh of relief tumbled out in a tremble before he could stop it, short lived as it was, “For the moment?”

Genji nodded, solemn, “He is lucky he has made it so far. But… the nature of his injuries…” the younger Shimada shook his head gently, “All we can hope now is that he wakes. And if he does, it will not be without hardships for him to overcome.”

It was Hanzo’s place now to nod solemnly, fists curled in the fabric of the serape hugging his form, “I suppose Angela would have more information for me, if I were to ask it.”

“She would. But she is sleeping right now. Last night has been hard on us all.” 

“Then I will speak with her when she wakes.”

The brothers fell into silence again, watching as the sun continued to rise and cargo ships chugged slowly across the ocean. Hanzo felt the night prior creep up on him finally, slumping forewords heavily. It would be wise to sleep, after not only experiencing the rush of adrenaline from the battle but also the crushing worry over his lover’s wellbeing. But still, the thought of returning to his and Jesse’s shared space without the cowboy there to occupy it as well was something Hanzo did not wish to experience.

“Do you think… I could go see him?”

Genji hummed, thinking it over. “I don’t see why not.”

“Then I will go see him.” 

Hanzo rose to his feet, ignoring Genji’s concern when he swayed unsteadily for a moment. Had Hanzo even eaten or drank since returning to the base? He couldn’t recall. Rest was also sounding better by the second, as his feet slowly made their way to the medbay. Before Hanzo reached it, he was nearly bowled over by Lena, who at least offered him an apologetic smile. 

“I’ve been lookin’ all over for you.” She began, fiddling with an object in her hands. “Needed to return this.” 

Hanzo was then handed Jesse’s hat, which he took from Lena to fiddle with the brim of it himself. Sudden emotions welled in his throat and he fought just to swallow them back down to reply with a curt, “Thank you.”

“I… Just had to make sure he got it back, y’know.” Lena rubbed her arm after that admission, gaze downcast, “Figured that he’d need it when he got better.”

“He will need it.” Hanzo answered, holding the hat even closer. “He will be grateful to see it returned. Thank you, Lena.”

Lena nodded, and lifted her face to offer a gentle smile, “If you need anything, you let me know, yeah? I couldn’t imagine going through something like this with Em.”

“I hope you and Emily never go through something like this.” the waver Hanzo had feared creeping into his voice was most definitely on its way, “It’s…”

“It’s tough.” Lena finished for him, expression kind and voice soft, “I should probably let you go see him. Tell him he’d better wake up, yeah? So we can scold him proper for scaring us all.”

Hanzo could only offer a watery chuckle in response and a nod. “I will pass the message on. Thank you, Lena.”

Lena gave him a nod and a kind smile before she disappeared in a flash of blue light. Hanzo stared at where she once stood, then at the hat in his hands. He had to swallow down his emotions once more, seeing this hat not in the possession of its owner was alien even to him. Jesse never went anywhere without it, had even made Hanzo turn around once during a two-man recon mission they’d run together just to retrieve it after it got knocked off by a low hanging branch. That had been before they got together, and Hanzo had said many colourful things to Jesse that day.

_ If you knew what you know now, knew just how little time you might have with him, would you take every curse and spiteful phrase back? _

Hanzo’s grip on the brim of the hat had turned his knuckles white, and he forced himself to breathe slowly. Moving forward also proved difficult as well, and Hanzo did not know if it was his exhaustion or fear of actually seeing Jesse’s state that kept him from advancing. 

_ It would make this all too real, wouldn’t it? _

_ I need to see him. He needs me. He’d do the same for me. _

_ …I love him so much… _

Hanzo stepped forwards slowly, the distance between himself and the medbay shortening with each footfall. It felt like crossing an ocean. The metal of the door was cold against his palm when he pressed against it, and he inched inside. It was dim in the medbay, and reeked of sterilization and strong chemicals. The only light was from Angela’s office itself, and as Hanzo passed by he could see the form of the doctor slumped over her desk. Someone had at least placed a pillow under her head for her, which she was currently snuggled against. Hanzo left her to her rest as he stepped further in. 

Jesse wasn’t hard to locate, being in the only occupied bed. Angela had drawn the curtain around his prone form, and Hanzo suspects it’s because she expected him to come see Jesse as soon as possible and had offered them privacy this way. He’d thank her for her foresight later, right now he was preoccupied with taking in Jesse’s appearance.

Jesse looked terrible, was the nicest way to say it, the only way to say it. Thick bandages were wrapped around his head, obscuring the gunslinger’s eyes. Jesse’s prosthetic had been removed and his skin was ashen, but at the very least he was breathing, if shallowly. Hanzo felt his legs finally give way, and he sat heavily on the edge of Jesse’s bed. Hanzo let his head fall into his hands, and took a few shuddering breaths, only sitting back up straight to wipe away the tear tracks from his face. 

Hanzo reached over to set Jesse’s hat on top of the gunslinger’s prosthetic that was resting on a little wheeled side table. The serape itself Hanzo kept around his shoulders as he worked the releases on his own prosthetics, hissing when he felt finally just how swollen his stumps were. Then, he settled against Jesse’s left side, cuddling into the space not occupied by Jesse after making sure he was not laying on anything important.

“I love you, Jesse.” Hanzo told his gunslinger softly, his voice cracking against his wishes, “I don’t want this… to be how we end, but if this is how we part…” the goodbye died in Hanzo’s throat the moment he thought of it, so he choked it back down and closed his eyes, “I love you.” he repeated to Jesse’s silent form, “I always will. Please wake up.”

Before sleep took him finally, Hanzo reached over to twine his and Jesse’s fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Yeah. Been a while for this fic. I'm kinda in a strange state with it, to be honest. Not really satisfied in a way and not motivated to work on it. It's been an entire year since I've started this thing, and we've seen so much in the way of overwatch content it makes me question certain characterizations in the past two chapters. If I decide to go back and change things, I will. 
> 
> Another reason I was hesitant to work on this was that a lot has occurred in my personal life that made working on this hard. I lost my uncle to brain cancer earlier this year, and shortly after I lost my grandfather as well. Considering a few things I have planned for the fic and the subsequent research I had to do which heavily involved the brain I frequently made myself upset and left this on the back burner for so long. I feel I'm in a little bit of a better place to work on this again, albeit slowly. 
> 
> I can't imagine people having stuck around waiting for this to update, but if you have, I thank you for your incredible patience. There will be more, I promise. I can't say when, but know I will not let this fic stay unfinished.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Angst Bomb I have been teasing the McHanzo discord with. Blame this entire thing on an RP I had with my friend and Nancy Sinatra. Massive thanks to Kimirumai/VioletWreck for editing this!


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